


How the river flows

by mysteriousmice



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousmice/pseuds/mysteriousmice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't understand why people always say they want to become better, or that they're going to become better. Like they don't think that they're good enough.”</p>
<p>This is pretty short, but hopefully you guys'll enjoy it.<br/>Hell, maybe if enough people like it I can see what I can do about bumping that rating up to Mature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How the river flows

Castiel remembers it clearly.  
  
“Dear Castiel,” the prayer echoed through his head “Please, I need someone to talk to. Come here.”  
With a flap of his wings (which he really wished Dean could see – they were magnificent), he appeared in a small motel room in Lewisville, Oregon, where the floral wallpaper and the broken looking hunter sitting on the bed matched in an off sort of way, Castiel thought – both looked as if the colours had faded from them.  
Dean's head rose at the soft sound of feathers scraping the wind.  
Castiel never liked it when Dean's eyes were pink from crying, or when his lips were chapped from his teeth worrying away at them. The only think he disliked more than when Dean was upset was when Dean was in serious danger.  
“Sam left. He won't talk to me. I...” Dean trailed off for a moment. Castiel sat beside him on the bed, looking towards his feet as he listened.  
“We were on a hunt, a vengeful spirit, and I looked away for just a second and she... I let a little girl die. It was all my fault, Cas.”  
“Dean.” Castiel isn't quite sure what to do so he wraps an arm around Dean's shoulder.  
“I can't just... I can't make those kinds of mistakes, Cas. I always fuck up, I need to be better than that but I –”  
“I don't understand.” Dean hesitantly met his gaze, as if he were afraid of what would come of it.  
“What isn't there to understand, Cas? I want to be better, I –”  
“No, I mean... I don't understand why people always say they want to become better, or that they're going to become better. Like they don't think that they're good enough.”  
“Cas –”  
“I... I'm saying this because I think that you're good enough, Dean, I think that you're amazing. It wasn't your fault, it could never be your fault. Everyone makes mistakes. You can't save everyone.” Dean looked away at this comment.  
“But, I –”  
“Look at me.” Dean glanced back up, and Cas took a moment to gaze deep into those gold and brown-speckled green eyes. “You don't need to become better, Dean. I... I love you for who you are. So I'll repeat your own words back to you. Don't ever change.”  
Dean looked as though his whole world had shattered before his eyes, leaving Castiel to wonder for a moment if he had said something wrong, or something to upset him. He watched a lone tear roll down his friend's cheek.  
A bit of thunder rolled by with a deep roar. Castiel hadn't even noticed it was raining.  
“Cas?”  
“Yes Dean?”  
“You... love me?” Castiel hesitated for a few seconds.  
“I do.” Dean's eyes trailed to the stained carpeting below.  
“...For how long?”  
“Since I raised you from perdition.” Castiel watched Dean, concern filling the empty spaces alongside confusion. Funny how time spent in the human world affected his emotions. “Is that... all right?”  
Without a word, Dean Winchester found a resting place for his hand against Castiel's cheek, and then another place against his lips to place a hasty, chaste kiss. At least, it started chaste before Cas hesitantly returned it and it began to grow until Dean's hands were on his waist and his chest and his shoulders and Castiel's hands found the back of Dean's head and tongues flickered between lips and Castiel found himself tipped backwards on the bed and Dean was over him, Dean with those eyes and lips and freckles and hands.  
As one of those hands tugged at Castiel's tie, Dean pulled out of the kiss, his breath coming in short puffs against Castiel's skin.  
“I love you too, Cas. Since I can't remember when.”  
“Mm.” And then he laid another open-mouthed kiss against him and Castiel was once again drowning in Dean-flavoured bliss.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a quote taken from a roleplay by [this lovely human being.](http://caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.tumblr.com/) The quote is [here.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdo3nzaOIx1qek49mo1_500.png)
> 
> Since I know you were wondering:  
> Sam came back to the motel room after he had a couple drinks and was going to apologize. He started to turn the doorknob before he heard Dean moaning Castiel's name and some other noises coming from just inside. He got himself another room, scrawled out a note that said "Congrats" and his room number, slipped it under the door, and scurried off to said room number to try and rid his mind of the mental images he'd obtained.


End file.
